I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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