Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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