I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize