We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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