no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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