wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
