You really coming over, don't trick.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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