dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
