I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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