Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
