My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
