Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
