On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
