Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
