With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
