Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
