Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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