So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
