You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
