What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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