their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
