Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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