I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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