i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
