is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
