When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
two words: eviction party
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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