In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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