Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize