his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it