I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The air was thick with penises
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...