dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong