Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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