you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
