It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
