I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
