Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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