Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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