Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
