I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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