all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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