Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
