How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
