my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
