I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
