It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
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My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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