i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize