please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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