Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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