my vag is so smooth its legendary
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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