Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They have beer where we have blood.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize