Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so explain again why im purple
no
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
