Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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