You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
