A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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