the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
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he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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