your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
