Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
