'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
birth control should be required to get into college
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
