She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize