i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
