I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
