We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just found a bag of teeth...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
