But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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