You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
