Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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