What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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