It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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