Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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