Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
