Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
