no, he came in my armpit
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think a kid would responsible me up
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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